I finally noticed that I didn’t know when to stop.
It’s something you just learn, isn’t it? Or most people learn, at any rate. But it seems I just didn’t. And it’s more of an indirect problem than a problem in itself, because it means I’m constantly expecting to be told to stop. I’m expecting to have gone too far and not noticed myself, and to be pulled up short by those around me.
I only think I properly noticed this this morning when talking to Cambuslang about something I really love. There don’t seem to be too many of these things any more so I indulged myself a little and talked longer about it than my cautious instincts would have allowed. And then I realized that I was hyper-conscious of the other people in the room and nervous, and that that nervousness was precisely because I expected them to tell me to stop. I was expecting to be told that my enthusiasm had carried me away, and carried me into the wrong.
The obvious conclusion from this is that I have simply failed to learn where the limits are and where I should stop. But the other fairly obvious conclusion is that the reason I have few enthusiasms now is because I have trampled on all those I had for fear of them carrying me away.
I would much rather hear someone enthuse about something for a long time than grouse, groan and grumble for an eternity (although I reserve the right to do so from time to time whether I have an audience or not!)
What Kerensa said.
And please do not let your enthusiasms be dampened or trapped.
I think my comment got spammed: I’ll try again.
I had a similar experience 30 hours or so ago now. And as Kerensa wrote, give me enthused any day — do not let your enthusiasm be dampened.
I think this fear of talking about the things we love is one of the things which trap us into humdrum lives the most. Well done for recognising it; means you can do something about it.
Who was it who said ‘When a man quits his passions he begins to die’? No idea, but it’s a good quote anyway, and use it as a reason for enthusing liberally. If people get bored by it, they’re probably boring people. Or children. Enthused is good.
A colleauge at work has been told by his partner that gardening is his ‘obessession’. However, I could easily talk gardening for hours with this bloke. Perhaps ‘knowing when to stop’ is simply a matter of knowing your audience. One man’s meat is another man’s poison and all that.
Was good to celebrate your nth birthday with you on the weekend, btw. Thanks!